Eighteen Years Old

Vaguely. I vaguely remember eighteen (what I do remember was nothing to write home about).

Yet, each time one of my children woke up and said, "I'm eighteen!" they acted as though The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus had all visited them during the same night. From then on my children behaved as though their night visitors had magically delivered all knowledge. Having had the previous black space between their ears filled with super human brain cells they, "knew what they were doing."

"Adult-children" usually have wheels under their buttocks by this time (and under your auto insurance policy). According to FAFSA.gov "the parent has a responsibility to pay for their child's college." (Nobody paid for mine!) The good news: you can usually boast how you got him or her to age 18 with all their fingers and toes, no major head trauma, and they are college bound. The bad news: the hopping hormones are as big as 10-gallon paint containers; you've got high blood pressure and college loans; your deposits have been cashed; dorms don't open for 60 days; and your 18-yr old has a hot boyfriend or girlfriend! This is more proof that parenting is not for wimps.

There will be an increase in covering the gray at the hairdresser. Also an increase of insomnia. Tempers get shorter, nights longer. Parents faced with the magic of "eighteen" can't access medical or educational records but they still get to pay for the costs! Finally, there are very skeery issues facing our newbie adult/kids today. This is certainly not the time to wimp out!

Tactic: Gather the reinforcements; strengthen the ranks; call out the National Moms Association! Parent validation is highly underrated! I never overlook networking with my local chapter of "I Spy." Spying on your kids doesn't really have much immediate effect on the young adult whose view is blinded by the 10-gallon size hormones, other than make them angry, but it sure has made me feel supported! Some experts/Psychologists will say "kids deserve their privacy." Others will say, "kids want to know you care, they want boundaries." Here is what I say...

It may be my "denial" but I like thinking my children believing that their Auntie (or someone else who knows them) might be somewhere they are has a cooling effect on their actions. Go Auntie! Did I mention that this is how I knew my son had been in a food fight at Del Taco? Also how I knew my son kissed a girl at the movies? (Beware the cell phone four rows behind you!) Don't think we're sexist, Dad was reading a book and wearing Biker Couture at the coffee counter in Denny's during the "after" Homecoming Dance! Now that I have sons in their twenties I sometimes hear, "I always had his back; I am his greatest fan; and I am the smartest person he knows!" How cool is that for the meanest mom!