The Ties That Bind

These are interesting times for families. So many of us are living in modern family situations of blended families that include, "his, mine, and ours." Some parents are loving, nurturing and raising children who share absolutely zero DNA with them. The age old perception of the nuclear family doesn't appear to have quite caught up to some of our realities. It is truly a sad observation (and one that causes a parent to question the responses and opinions expressed) when human interactions with a new "family design" vary so greatly from those of the traditional "nuclear family." Worse is the emotional toil that occurs when a child "feels," by their own perception, that they are less important or loved by "relatives" because they lack the DNA carried by a "natural" child. It is truly disturbing as a parent to recognize the incongruity of others who claim to love your child while at the same time their actions also make clear that all God's children were not created equal. Whether intentional or not the use of terms that segregate a member of a family by singling them out by their "differences" to natural born children is detrimental. I believe a grassroots movement to break down these differentiators is long overdue. The ties that bind are not DNA.

The Struggle for Self Discovery

Who doesn't at some point in their life experience a struggle of self discovery? Okay, the Greek Mythology Gods don't count. They're Myths! Us lowly humans however - now that's a completely different story.

My college daughter is clearly trying to discover who she is...a process that is almost guaranteed to send me seeking therapy. So far she's discovered that being an "adult" means she can voice her political viewpoints; vote her conscience; and make what most seasoned parents would consider "questionable" choices.

Parents don't really care what age their child has grown to when it comes to poor choices. Choices in friends; party behavior; and lest we forget the main irritant of my day...alienation of parental affection is just wrong no matter what age our children have obtained. My affectionate responses are definitely decreased when faced with young adult opinions regarding tattoos and body piercings! If I live to be a hundred I'll never understand the whole "inking" fad which appears to have taken the past decade by storm. The remarkable "age" number four child has attained is proving quite good at disturbing me in my "advanced years." Can't we just go back to Pogs, Beanie Babies or even neon spiral twist shoe laces? Even high top tennis shoes in patterns were changeable but a "tat" is forever! By the way, they never look good on granny! If you don't believe me volunteer at the senior center and check out the droopy inks that are unrecognizable!

Still, my daughter has remarkably positive "adult" qualities too. She seems to have good moral fiber (most of the time), a clear understanding of "good work ethic," and she gets her petite behind to her college classes where she obtains passing grades. This is really exceptional given the huge drop out rates; the propensity for first semester failing (due to parties and maligned study habits). She is also quite disturbed by her dorm mate's inability to use a vacuum, a toilet brush, or a even a garbage can! Good to know!

Is it any wonder a young adult like this can't stand her mother? After all, it's completely obvious her mother has turned her out into the world completely unprepared! And, for the record...there are times when I don't like her much either!