Preparation for Life?

Exhaustion: A common side effect of "parenting" found during all phases of child rearing. Occurs most often after repeated attempts by human adults to prepare their young for life in the outside world. Adults have tried...everything...to prepare their offspring with the skills they will need for success. My approach...Horses!

Horses eat through your disposable income twice every day at constantly rising rates. Often they need snacks (grain or other supplements). Horses require medical attention almost as often as your children do. Horses, just like your children, benefit from vitamins and grow out of their shoes every six weeks. In fact, Horses are really just teenagers. They both destroy their rooms (corrals) with little regard to how much you paid for them to have a space of their own! Both also tear up their clothes (fly sheets; blankets; and fly masks). Why was I thinking a Horse was going to help me parent my children?

After I had lost all my money; patience; any opportunity for self-gratification, and most of my mind...I witnessed the results! My children did learn something. Skills that have helped them in the world outside their parent's home. They are compassionate people. They know what hard work is and have good work ethics. They are not afraid of challenges much larger than themselves. They are strong, confident adults and can gently negotiate through obstacles set before them. I credit their Horses!

All those early morning stall cleanings, wheelbarrow loads and hay bales; the bathing, brushing, and hoof picking; the lessons when they did poorly, the unexpected dismounts that left them in the dirt, and the horse shows when they did NOT win, place, or show payed off dividends! My children are able to handle the difficulties of life. They dust themselves off and go on. They are resilient and tough. In a world where so many expect so much will come so easily, my children are using their stamina, maneuvering skills, and persistence taking to task a world much larger than they.

I credit the Horse...because the task of parenting my children to success was much larger than I. Bravo to the Horses: Dar-ling, Miska, Jet, Pepper, DeMazien, Catch and Honor. Bravo to the lessons taught in and out of the saddle!

The Ties That Bind

These are interesting times for families. So many of us are living in modern family situations of blended families that include, "his, mine, and ours." Some parents are loving, nurturing and raising children who share absolutely zero DNA with them. The age old perception of the nuclear family doesn't appear to have quite caught up to some of our realities. It is truly a sad observation (and one that causes a parent to question the responses and opinions expressed) when human interactions with a new "family design" vary so greatly from those of the traditional "nuclear family." Worse is the emotional toil that occurs when a child "feels," by their own perception, that they are less important or loved by "relatives" because they lack the DNA carried by a "natural" child. It is truly disturbing as a parent to recognize the incongruity of others who claim to love your child while at the same time their actions also make clear that all God's children were not created equal. Whether intentional or not the use of terms that segregate a member of a family by singling them out by their "differences" to natural born children is detrimental. I believe a grassroots movement to break down these differentiators is long overdue. The ties that bind are not DNA.

The Struggle for Self Discovery

Who doesn't at some point in their life experience a struggle of self discovery? Okay, the Greek Mythology Gods don't count. They're Myths! Us lowly humans however - now that's a completely different story.

My college daughter is clearly trying to discover who she is...a process that is almost guaranteed to send me seeking therapy. So far she's discovered that being an "adult" means she can voice her political viewpoints; vote her conscience; and make what most seasoned parents would consider "questionable" choices.

Parents don't really care what age their child has grown to when it comes to poor choices. Choices in friends; party behavior; and lest we forget the main irritant of my day...alienation of parental affection is just wrong no matter what age our children have obtained. My affectionate responses are definitely decreased when faced with young adult opinions regarding tattoos and body piercings! If I live to be a hundred I'll never understand the whole "inking" fad which appears to have taken the past decade by storm. The remarkable "age" number four child has attained is proving quite good at disturbing me in my "advanced years." Can't we just go back to Pogs, Beanie Babies or even neon spiral twist shoe laces? Even high top tennis shoes in patterns were changeable but a "tat" is forever! By the way, they never look good on granny! If you don't believe me volunteer at the senior center and check out the droopy inks that are unrecognizable!

Still, my daughter has remarkably positive "adult" qualities too. She seems to have good moral fiber (most of the time), a clear understanding of "good work ethic," and she gets her petite behind to her college classes where she obtains passing grades. This is really exceptional given the huge drop out rates; the propensity for first semester failing (due to parties and maligned study habits). She is also quite disturbed by her dorm mate's inability to use a vacuum, a toilet brush, or a even a garbage can! Good to know!

Is it any wonder a young adult like this can't stand her mother? After all, it's completely obvious her mother has turned her out into the world completely unprepared! And, for the record...there are times when I don't like her much either!